


That Good Night

by waterbird13



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Endgame, F/M, Major character death - Freeform, endgame spoilers, there could be some debate on whether this is suicide or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 09:11:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16930461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: What happens right after Tony sends his goodbye message.





	That Good Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hello--
> 
> The Endgame trailer is awesome. I am a terrible person.
> 
> WARNING: If you don't want to read major character death at the end of a fic that reflects on death the WHOLE TIME, then please don't read this. There is no secret happy ending here, okay? Okay. In addition, you could make an argument that this is suicide. So if that triggers you, this isn't for you.
> 
> ALSO: this isn't what I want for Endgame. Tony dying there would invalidate the last twenty minutes or whatever of Infinity War entirely (so it seems so far, considering, in Strange's view, Tony is critical to fixing the universe). But I was thinking about this. So here it is.
> 
> I think enjoy is the wrong word, but if this is the type of stuff you read, then you know what I mean.

He describes it as a dream in his final message, the hail Mary he knows will never be seen. Describes it as drifting off, like he’ll just be going to sleep. Knows people like to think that, that death is just sleeping, that easy.

Tony, who has stared Death in the eyes and  _dared_  it to take him too many times, knows it is anything but.

Oxygen deprivation isn’t pretty. The human body isn’t designed for death to be pretty. The human body is a hard-won evolutionary mess, and it fights and scrabbles for every bit of life. It doesn’t go without a fight.

Tony nearly failed English class, but he’s pretty sure he remembers a poem about that.

The human body doesn’t surrender. It scrambles and it fights and it begs and it doesn’t quite know when to quit, unless it’s tricked.

Of course, as it is, the fight won’t be very long. Tony’s malnourished, dehydrated, injured and has been slowly weakening, mentally and physically, since Titan. The wound in his side has never fully healed, his mind is all but broken.

But the body can be tricked into making it even easier. And Tony’s at the point where he just wants it to be easy. 

So he works up the strength to stand and goes over to the controls, hesitant, tripping steps that require him to use the wall for support. 

Even if he left things alone…it won’t be long. It’s not suicide. He’s just sparing himself some pain.

There’s only a handful of hours of oxygen left. With shaking hands, he changes the atmospheric composition. Oxygen down. Nitrogen up.

His lungs will still take in air. They’ll be tricked, for a while. He’ll get light-headed, he’ll pass out. He’ll die.

He didn’t lie to Pep. It’ll just be like falling asleep.

He manages to get himself seated, stumbling back towards his window, to stare off into the vast  _emptiness_ in front of him. Once, he would have been terrified, driven to panic at the mere  _thought_  of being here.

He’s too long past that, now. 

His eyes feel heavy.  _Part of the journey is the end_.

He sees Pep. He sees…that last dream he had on Earth, the one he can’t forget despite everything. He sees Pepper and the baby, and it feels  _real_ , again. His heart beat, irregular for days, stutters.

Pepper smiles at him. “ _Tony,”_ she says, in that way she always does when he sees her like this, behind closed eyelids, when his body is fighting to hold on. “ _Hold on for us_.”

That voice has called him back before. Shrapnel in his chest, open heart surgery, exploded arc reactor, fighting Vanko, missile to space…Tony swallows. His throat, bone-dry, aches with it.

_Sorry, Pep,_  he thinks, eyes fully closed, body slumping. He can’t even really see them anymore, vision blurring.  _Not this time_.

 

 


End file.
